Thank You Cam Newton

2016 was quite an eventful year. We have a new petty president:

A fourth round pick from Mississippi State took Tony Romo’s job and may actually make it to the Super Bowl:

and Mariah Carey apparently can’t sing anymore:

Needless to say, 2016 has been the year of surprises, but one thing remains constant…Cam Newton’s fashion sense! The Panthers lost to the Falcons last week and Cam couldn’t help being himself in his press conference!

I personally think this outfit speaks for itself. I mean just look at it. From the jacket to the flowered shirt to the hat. Cam clearly loves hats. Cam has to have a separate closet just for all of his crazy hats. I would like to see Cam’s hat closet one day. Please don’t ever change, Cam. 2016 was traumatic enough. We can’t suddenly have you dressing like a normal person. 

The Browns Didn’t Go 0-16

But they did go 1-15, so close enough. Last week, the Chargers managed to be the only team to lose to the Browns this season. The Browns played the Steelers today and to show just how much the Steelers think about the Browns, they didn’t start Big Ben, Le’Veon Bell or Antonio Brown and they still won with the Browns playing their alleged franchise quarterback, RGIII. The Browns lost to Landry Jones and a bunch of other scrubs. How pathetic is that? But they managed to win one game this season, so I guess thank the Lord for small miracles.

Why Can’t Phillip Rivers Win Anything Ever?


I know this game is not up to quarterback play solely. I get that there are tons of positions…tight ends, wide receivers, linebackers, safeties, but damn. Why can’t Phillip Rivers ever be great? I have been rooting for Phillip Rivers since forever. He just seems wonderful. Like he smells like cinnamon and spice and everything nice. He doesn’t swear, has a million kids and just seems to genuinely love the game of football. But I just cannot with him! Today the Chargers lost to the Raiders in a game I half watched because snore. The Raiders are continuing their winning streak and the Chargers are continuing into NFL oblivion.

The Chargers is that team that gives you hope, only to dash it away every single year at the last minute. They have a quarterback that is just good enough to make you feel like something is going to happen this season, but then they lose terribly and all the time. I honestly would rather be a fan of the Browns. At least they are honest.

Congratulations, James.

The Seattle Seahawks Want to Forget Sunday’s Game Against the Green Bay Packers

And so do I. My goodness was this an awful display by the Seahawks. I will just chalk this game up to a bad day and hope the team erases this embarassing performance from its memory and moves on. I wasn’t sure if the Seahawks could win this game without my favorite player, Earl Thomas III, but I didn’t think it would go THAT bad.

There are no words for how bad the offense was on Sunday. Russell Wilson threw five interceptions. FIVE! Then there was a fumble near the end of the game by a backup running back whose name I do not remember. On top of that there were tons of dropped passes and missed opportunities. I’m just happy that no one was seriously injured during this game on offense.

On defense, it was clear that Earl Thomas III is the engine that makes this unit run. Without him stalking around in the backfield, quarterbacks are able to pick apart this defense and that is exactly what Aaron Rodgers did. The defense in general looked confused throughout the game. Steven Terrell filled in for Earl, but it was very clear that he wasn’t Earl, but then again who is. Earl is by far the best safety in the NFL, the best defender on the Seahawks and the second most important player on the team behind Russell Wilson and that all became very clear on Sunday. With Earl out for the rest of the season with a broken leg, it is unclear how this defense is going to perform during the rest of the season. They should make the playoffs, but how deep they go into the playoffs, who knows.

The fate of this team this season now rests squarely on Russell Wilson’s shoulders and if he puts on a performance like he did on Sunday again, the Seahawks can probably kiss their Super Bowl hopes goodbye.

The Browns Fall to 0-13

The Browns are continuing on the express train to 0-16 this season! As expected, the Browns lost to the Bengals on Sunday 23-10.  This game wasn’t competitive, but it did see the return of RGIII, the quarterback the Redskins were happy to give away (after mortgaging the franchise to get him) and the Browns were too happy to take. Unfortunately during the first game of the season RGIII was injured on a stupid play and the Browns have been in quarterback hell ever since.

After a two month hiatus, on Sunday RGIII was finally back on the field and ready to show the NFL that he was still as dynamic as he was during his 2012 rookie season.  Unfortunately, what he showed is that after four years in the league, he still doesn’t know how to play professional football. Throughout the game, he made mistake after mistake after mistake. He read the defense wrong, he didn’t throw the ball accurately or to the open receiver, he seemed to have difficulty going through his progressions and just didn’t make good decisions in general. It is actually a miracle that the Browns scored 10 points. On the plus side he didn’t get injured, which is about the only positive thing to say about this game and his play.

The Browns plan on starting RGIII against their next game against the Buffalo Bills because why not. What do they have to lose at this point. I don’t think much will change between now and then, but who knows. Either way, if he doesn’t show some spark before the end of the season, I think we can safely assume that this will be RGIII’s last opportunity as a starting quarterback in the NFL. If he can’t lead the Browns to at least one winning game or show that he has what it takes to play the quarterback position, I see RGIII being relegated to backup hell with the likes of Christian Ponder and Brandon Weeden.

I knew the Browns weren’t going to win this game, but I was looking forward to seeing how much progress RGIII made during the past two months that he has been on the bench. Based on what he put on the field yesterday, it looks like he hasn’t learned much.

Things May Get Worse for the 49ers

I didn’t think things could get much worse for the 49ers, but if the rumors are true, they apparently can. The Rams just fired their coach, Jeff Fisher and are in desperate need of another one. Fisher tied the NFL record for most career losses by a head coach in an embarrassing 42-14 loss to the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday, so needless to say this move was probably inevitable even if it comes at a peculiar time. Apparently the Rams have their eye on one guy to turn their franchise around, who just happens to be the same guy that turned around the 49ers before he was unceremoniously fired for reasons that make no sense.

Under Jim Harbaugh, the 49ers went from being a perennial loser to a perennial winner, making it to the NFC Championship twice and a Super Bowl. With his coaching, they became a powerhouse in the NFC West; however, Harbaugh was ousted by ownership and the general manager for allegedly not being enough of a winner, which allegedly was code talk for he didn’t along with the top brass. Since his departure two years ago, the 49ers have only won five games in 2 seasons. Their record this season is currently 1-12. Tickets to 49ers games are literally being “sold” on StubHub for free. If you see a 49ers game today, the stands look like the stands at a JV football game. Meanwhile Harbaugh went back to coach football at Michigan, his old alma mater, and turned an unranked college team into a ranked team in one year and a top three team in two. Needless to say, he’s been killing it at Michigan, while the 49ers continue to decline into the pits of NFL irrelevancy, as demonstrated by their embarassing loss to the Jets on Sunday.

Well, allegedly the Rams are planning to make a push for Harbaugh, which should make things very interesting for the 49ers since both teams play in the same division. It is unclear whether the Rams will make a push for Harbaugh and if so, if Harbaugh will take the job. He seems to be content at Michigan and he is making $5 million a year, which has to be nice. But if he is offered the job and he does take it, it will be interesting to see how these two teams match up next season. Who am I kidding, the 49ers will get killed.



The Panthers May Not Make the Playoffs, but Cam Newton’s Outfits are Still the Best

After getting blown out by the Seahawks last week, the Panthers managed to get a win over the Chargers on Sunday. The Panthers record is now 5-8 and they likely won’t make the playoffs, but that didn’t stop Cam Newton from celebrating Sunday’s win in his best outfit yet:

Just so you can get the full view of this outfit in all of its glory, here is Cam walking into the press conference and a lovely twitter comment to go along with it:

Why does Cam Newton look like he got into a fight with my grandma’s closet? I understand the need to be “different” but this? Last week Riverboat Ron (aka Ron Rivera) claimed that he benched Cam for the first drive during the game against the Seahawks for a “dress code” violation. I guess this week, since they were playing at home, there was no dress code?




The Browns Are Officially Eliminated from Making the Playoffs


The Cleveland Browns lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday 24-9 and now fall to 0-11 this season. It is hard to believe that a team that hasn’t won a game this season still had a chance of making the playoffs, but they did and now it’s gone. This game was an utterly pathetic performance by the Browns. The Browns were terrible in every facet of the game. There was the usual bad quarterback play by Josh McCown and Cody Kessler. The offense overall, other than wide receiver Terrelle Pryor, was just offensive. Going into the game, the Steelers were last in the NFL with just 13 sacks through nine games, but they managed to sack the Browns’ quarterbacks eight times on Sunday. The offensive line didn’t even look like it was on the field. The defense looked like they were trying in the beginning, but then everything fell apart. Things are looking so bad for the Browns that players are speaking out against the team’s front office and their decision making. Terrelle Pryor and offensive lineman Joe Thomas suggested to reporters that they talk to management to figure out how to fix the Browns and called management out for letting go of good guys.

I have been predicting that the Browns would go 0-16 since the Browns were 0-5 and we are one step closer to that sad fate.

Bill Belichick is the Pettiest Coach in the NFL

Let me start this by saying I cannot stand the Patriots. If I could kick one team into the sea, it would be the Patriots. If I got the chance to kick two, the Cowboys would be next. Part of the reason why I hate the Patriots is because I legitimately believe they are cheaters, but the other reason is Bill Belichick. Bill Belichick is so damn petty. His level of petty transcends all other levels of petty. The Browns played the Ravens Thursday night and surprise surprise, they lost. The Browns are 0-10 now, which is a record for which there are no words. But the one story I found interesting is the story of linebacker Jamie Collins. The Patriots acquired Collins in the 2013 draft as a second round pick. Last season, he led the team with tackles, forced fumbles and was generally a playmaker. Many coaches considered him to be the best defensive player for the Patriots, but that did not stop Bill Belichick and the Patriots front office from trading Collins away to the woeful Browns for a compensatory third round pick. First, trading Collins away to the Browns is just terrible in general, but then you only get a compensatory third round pick? There are a number of rumors swirling about why Collins was traded. Allegedly his production on the field decreased, he clashed with coaches and he demanded too much money as his contract was ending. Whatever the case and whatever happened, the Patriots were clearly sending a message. No one is safe on that team, except for maybe Tom Brady. Collins played his first game for the winless Browns on Thursday and my heart honestly went out to him. You go from the Patriots to the Browns? A super bowl contender to the only winless team in the NFL? And you have no control over it. Bill Belichick is truly the definition of petty, but maybe being petty is what is required to be a successful NFL franchise because the Patriots always win.